Nonsense
by Darksknight
Summary: Ulquiorra often says that she doesn't make sense. And she supposes that's true; she's heard it often enough before. But she thinks he makes even less sense, if that's possible.


I just today realized most of my Ulquihime one-shots are from Ulquiorra's POV. Time to switch it up, right?

So I have this head cannon about Orihime being dominant in bed. 0_0 And I know everyone's probably going to think it's super out of character for her, but lord, I feel like it just _works_. Don't know. Anyway, if you came her looking for smutty goodness, I'm warning you now that the happenings below are very vague; not so detailed at all. If you came looking for something not smutty, I'm warning you now, there is sexual content below. Hence the "M" rating. (Still, it's not bad, I could ALMOST make this rated T, but I'm pretty sure it's a bit too mature for that. Oh well!) Anyway, I may add onto this later- it feels kind of short right now, but for the time being, enjoy!

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><p>Ulquiorra often says that she doesn't make sense. And she supposes that's true; she's heard it often enough before. It wasn't just that she was human and he was hollow- even her closest friends often found her behaviors strange. ("Well, if you think <em>that<em> was weird, you guys should see the things she cooks for breakfast!") Oh, oh dear, she does miss Tatsuki-chan.

Maybe she doesn't make sense. But she thinks that he makes even less, sometimes. He's probably an anomaly, like her, so she can't get much about his weird ways out of the other espada. ("Hell if I know what bat-shit is thinking; he's more fucked up in the head than the rest of us, probably. I bet he lets Aizen-") Oh well, she tried, but Grimmjow is much cruder talking about Ulquiorra than she had expected him to be. In hindsight, she doesn't know what she expected; it's very Grimmjow-like to imply things about Ulquiorra that are entirely not true.

To figure him out she thinks like a detective; one from those American novels her great-aunt used to send her, back when Sora first died, so that she wouldn't feel so alone. She carefully took down his actions in her mind's note pad- ah, yes, he seems to like to center the tray very exactly in the middle of the table- and his words- oh, well, he says he doesn't care and when she moves the tray and he says he doesn't need her to move it back. Perfection is just a forced habit of his, she supposes.

But there is one thing, particularly, about him that she doesn't understand completely. Maybe she will one day, maybe she never will, but for the time being it's a puzzle she's determined to solve. Thinking of puzzles brings back memories of her and Ishida-san, ("Inoue, I don't think that pieces goes there. You see; it looks like the eye of the cat and- oh. Oh you've made it fit I see. I'm pretty sure you just broke the entire puzzle.") Wait. No, she can't be distracted, not even by thoughts of the one man she was sure could solve any puzzle, even if she did jam the pieces into the wrong places, thus forcing him to take it apart and begin again.

Ulquiorra says he doesn't care what happens to her. He says she lives and dies by Aizen's orders. But when Aizen deemed her useless he still protected her from Kurosaki-kun's accidental mis-fire, and when the orange-haired boy's hollow took control, he shielded her from the fall out. He says he doesn't care, not in the least, but his actions speak other wise. (In her the corner of her eye, when she pretends she's not looking, she can see him straighten out the tray on the table again.) Force of habit, of course. She doesn't know how long it takes for something to become a habit, but she thinks she's been with him a very short time for him to see her as such… Maybe she'd been with him longer than she thought.

Just because she's confused doesn't mean she stops him from doing what he will. It doesn't hurt anyone when he quickly organizes the dirty dishes on her tray so that they are stacked, biggest at the base and smallest at the top, and then later says it doesn't matter in what order things are put. It's not a bad thing when he tells her she can make her room an unsightly mess for all he cares, but then picks her things up while she is napping on the couch. He's not hurting anyone with his odd little habits, and his tad-bits of untruths. (She sighs against his mouth while he strips her dress off, she pants while he's whispering about how he'll be gone from her bed in the morning, she stirs as day breaks- the sun finds her bare body tangled in the sheets and his right next to her, where he swore he wouldn't be.) Yes, not hurting anyone. Not hurting in the least.

He doesn't make any sense, but she sort of gets it. She doesn't like citrus, but she loves lemons in her pasta, she doesn't like being scared, but she stays up all night watching horror movies until she's so paranoid and frightened she can't turn the light off when she goes to bed. (The monsters in her mind all look like humans with knifes when she sleeps. She turns the lights off when he's in her bed, because she's safer that way, when he's there the monsters can't get her.) She doesn't understand how when they see him coming they can whisper "Monster."

He says he's in control of her.

_More, woman, hurry. Quickly._

He says that she will bend to his will.

_Ask me nicely, Ulquiorra-kun, we'll see what happens._

He says that she is insignificant.

_Please._

He says that he is superior to her.

_Louder, Ulquiorra-kun, I can't hear you._

He says, he says, he says. But he is lying, and they both know it. She pretends that she doesn't, and so the game continues.

_Please. Please, Onna. More._

Laying in the after-glow she traces shapes on his arms, and he lets her, she does as she wants and there is nothing he will do to deter her. And as she is laying there she smiles as he talks to her of her non-sense, her inane wishes and fantasies, because she wants him to and even though he has made it clear in his words he will not bow to her will he does. ("He's a demon, Inoue! He'll tear you apart- _kill_ you if you don't let him have his way.") Ah, Kurosaki-kun, she misses you too, but she does not miss the way you treated her like a fragile flower. She is not made of glass, and in the night when Ulquiorra is below her, she knows that _this_ man knows it.

Yes, yes, maybe Ulquiorra doesn't make sense.

But she can read him like an open book.


End file.
